I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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