But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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