i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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