So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
