my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
