Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
