8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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