New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Houston, we have a squirter
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
