dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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