yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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