I'm going to jail i love you
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
