we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
