she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
