Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize