Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
