I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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