So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
