Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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