I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
