yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
