Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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