They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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