I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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