I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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