i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
