We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
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