Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
