Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
