Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
