Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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