Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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