It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
My vagina just recognized that song.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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