Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
