So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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