I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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