Who wears a wallet chain?!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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