i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
