A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
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All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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