Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
