I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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