that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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