I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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