been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
