I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
