Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
