hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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