God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
