fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
