Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Fuck appropriateness.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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