do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
