i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
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Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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