Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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