Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's blow job season.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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