So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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