Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
