So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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