i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize