kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
