Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
