Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He passed out mid-signature
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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