Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
