She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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