Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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