Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
