so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
