if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
