Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
