Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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