okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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