the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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