All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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