im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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