Sorry, I don't speak sober.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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