My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
