I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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